Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The 10 most annoying movie characters ever!

Not my list but what do you think? 10. George Tooney in "Mean Creek" (Josh Peck) One of the most annoying kids ever – and that's a compliment. Josh Peck gives a brilliant performance as the fat, spoiled, big-mouthed school-bully who pummels little Rory Culkin and has a genius for finding ways to be obnoxious to everyone else. Until they learn he can't swim... Harsh. MOST PUNCHABLE MOMENT: "And speaking of dead... fathers..." Georgie-boy goes waaay too far. 9. Basher Tarr in "Ocean's Eleven" (Don Cheadle) Here's what Americans don't understand about English people. We don't really use rhyming slang. And we don't sound like we were born in Kansas. No one explained this to mock-er-ney geez-ah Basher Tarr, who talks to "Denny Oshan" in the worst Brit accent of all time. MOST PUNCHABLE MOMENT: "We're in barney," he tells a baffled-looking Ocean's eleven. "Barney Rubble... Trabbuw!" No. Just no. 8. Carrie in "Four Weddings And A Funeral" (Andie McDowall) "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed." Seven little words that rightly condemn the quite-bleedin'-obviously-drenched Carrie to lifelong status in The Annoying Hall Of Fame. The fact that she managed to be more irritating than floppy-haired fop Charles (Hugh Grant) impresses us even more. MOST PUNCHABLE MOMENT: It's raining. You're wet. You noticed. 7. Gloria Clemente in "White Men Can't Jump" (Rosie Perez) The excellent "White Men Can't Jump" becomes unbearable every time one giant gob opens. That gob belongs to Woody Harrelson's bossy, loudmouthed Puerto Rican girlfriend, who has a voice that sounds like a pig being slaughtered. She's also a Jeopardy! addict who knows all seven of the foods that start with the letter Q. But not the word "quiet". MOST PUNCHABLE MOMENT: "How much money did you make today?" Oh, the endless nagging... 6. Marvin in "The Animal" (Rob Schneider) Oh dear. Having been rebuilt with animal parts by a mad scientist (look, stay with us), feral supercop Marvin spends an entire film lifting his leg to lick himself like a dog (stay...) or being out-acted by Adam Sandler (ok you can go now. Run!). MOST PUNCHABLE MOMENT: Dry-humping a mailbox. While neighing like a horse. Yes, really. 5. Ruby Rod in "The Fifth Element" (Chris Tucker) This screechingly fruity futuristic DJ makes Dame Edna look macho. He flaps his hands. He wears eye-melting clothes. He runs around. He lets out high-pitched squeals while chattering incessantly until you want to stick a screwdriver in your ears. And his. Bruce Willis tries to save him from death. No one knows why. MOST PUNCHABLE MOMENT: An extended girly-scream that seems to go on for 30 seconds. 4. Mr Bean in "Bean" (Rowan Atkinson) If ever a face begged to be slapped... Mr Bean is often compared to silent comedians like Chaplin and Jacques Tati. This is like comparing an onion to an apple. One taste of the bulgy-eyed imbecile's gurning 'antics' should make you wince yourself inside-out. MOST PUNCHABLE MOMENT: Failing to make a simple cup of instant coffee. And expecting us to laugh. 3. Jar Jar Binks in "The Phantom Menace" (Ahmed Best) Meesa gonna ruin an entire franchise! Making it shamefully obvious that George Lucas is more interested in selling toys than making good films, this CGI monster spends the Star Wars prequels spouting staggeringly offensive jive-dialogue. Annoying? He's the dictionary definition. MOST PUNCHABLE MOMENT: "Meesa so happy to shine yo' shoes, Meesta Jedi! Haha! Sho' nuff." 2. Rasputia in "Norbit" (Eddie Murphy) Even more than his "srightry lasist" Asian-American caricature Mr Wong, it's Eddie Murphy's Big Momma monster Rasputia who snaps your patience like a twig. Staggeringly fugly, staggeringly unfunny. That sound? Your teeth grinding. MOST PUNCHABLE MOMENT: Stealing her catchphrases from Whitney Houston ("Hell to the no") and Joey Tribbiani ("How YOU doin'?"). 1. Carter Burke in "Aliens" (Paul Reiser) One of the smarmiest cowards in modern cinema. Having tricked Ellen Ripley into returning to an alien-infested planet, he tries to save a pet facehugger, then tries to let it kill Ripley and Newt, then runs off to hide while everyone else is fighting. Happily, he doesn't hide well enough. Chomp! MOST PUNCHABLE MOMENT: Switching off the security monitors while Ripley is attacked by a facehugger.



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